Largeness of Heart
Bitterness and Largeness of Heart
19.02.2023
Today and yesterday was surely a test.
My accounts were compromised and I had to deal with an actor with malicious intent who used my accounts to pay for facebook ads and a game.
I’m glad that I found out sooner than later.
Ever since I started noting down things I am a bit more aware of the movements in my soul and my thoughts.
The hacking was the first time I felt cornered and threatened, the first time reality set in, that there is evil out there and some people make a living stealing things.
It wasn’t the money since I didn’t lose much, but the fact that someone was out there trying to commit evil to someone else, that thought put darkness in my heart and almost bitterness if I didn’t have God.
I had prayed for largeness of heart and yesterday was truly a test, I did realize that I didn’t get bitter, I felt sad and hurt, why? He must not be living well if he has to resort to stealing like this, and this morning I felt I had to pray over him, and also for myself so that I myself do not get bitter.
How does God feel when someone with evil intentions sin against God, how did Jesus feel when His own people wanted Him to die? How did Jesus find it in His heart to find compassion for those against Him? He is God and thus evil cannot come from Him but as a human being I am struck in wonder.
These thoughts rush into my head as I listen to worship and think of this debacle, my respect for God grew. Loving your enemies is easier said than done.
God has changed me, I felt more fear, sadness, and disappointment rather than vengeance, which had to go away as I learn to actively trust God more in all things.
“And God gave Solomon wisdom and exceedingly great understanding, and largeness of heart like the sand on the seashore. Thus Solomon’s wisdom excelled the wisdom of all the men of the East and all the wisdom of Egypt.”
I Kings 4:29-30 NKJV
“So the Lord gave Solomon wisdom, as He had promised him; and there was peace between Hiram and Solomon, and the two of them made a treaty together.”
I Kings 5:12 NKJV
God seemed to give wisdom in installments through processes and events as well, although wisdom was already given previously. One chapter later, God gave wisdom once again to Solomon after his dealing with Hiram.
Largeness of heart, in part seems to be the capacity to respond instead of react, in God’s wisdom regardless of how malicious something is when done against you. Responding well to someone who means well is normal, how about responding to malice?
On a sidenote, it’s amazing that on the same day God is using problems to teach both Tamara and I how to go about challenges in life through the lens of scripture, I asked for largeness of heart and truly on the same day a challenge surfaces.
Life is filled with problems, I had a hard time trying to truly worship this morning, Pastor Benny says that you cannot worship with worry, and Jesus teaches to not worry.
“Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature? “So why do you worry about clothing?
Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.
Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven,
Will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?
“Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’
For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.
But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”
Matthew 6:27-34 NKJV
I am always in wonder when events seemingly coincidental occur within both our lives, God’s work is evident in the past week of our talking fast